I read on chapter and I am giving up. I really wanted to give up on it after the first paragraph because I found the writing terrible. I even tried to edit it to make it work.
Here is my edited version....
"Behind me the footsteps halted for an instant before I ducked into the next corridor. Had I been in my usual shorts and t-shirt, I would have been able to get out of this hotel long ago, and a good solid kick to the head would have rendered the good doctor unconscious and my neck would not be in agony."
That would have been an opening paragraph that I could have rolled with, instead the story opens with....
"The heel of my white kidskin boot ripped a six inch gash in the hem of my skirt as I whipped around the corner. Behind me, the footsteps halted for just an instant, and then continued, faster than before. I ducked into the corridor, silently cursing the gods of 1890's fashion. had I been in my usual shorts and t-shirt, I would have been our of this retched hotel long ago. A solid kick to the head would have rendered the good doctor unconscious and the side of my neck wouldn't be screaming in agony."
Part of me hates pointing out what I find as poor writing (as I am not even to write a single paragraph for a story). But, to me this seems like the sort of stuff written in an intro to creative writing class in college and is distracting and painful to read.
I blame my lack of tolerance for this writing style on Mr Fitzgerald and his elegance of prose. I was talking to my hubby on how I would take any one of his poorly written stories and ridiculous plot twists over a more modern interesting plot and terrible writing....any day.
